Ah, so it is a small world after all!

The Disney ride doesn't lie.

Are you ready for this? Take a big breath now and see how shitty my life really is after leaving my ex of 8 and a half years. I can't escape him!

A couple of weeks ago on Facebook, which is quickly becoming the devil's toy, I noticed that a friend of mine was in a photo with my ex. That's certainly odd. I mean, they never knew each other when we were dating; she was a friend who I went on a training course with.

That photo played on my mind.

I also managed to make the mistake of getting a job at a place where my ex's cousin works. We used to get on so well and go to each other's houses, go to family weddings together and talk really openly and honestly with one another. I remember very early on in the relationship I thought I might be pregnant and she was the one who I took advice from. Seeing her at work is not easy.

She plays on my mind.

Another photo on my friend's Facebook appears of some sort of cake creation with my ex tagged in it. The cake is on the coffee table at her house. I see his feet perched upon the table in the background. Hmm, he never put his feet up at mine. I wonder if he's moved in with her.

I tell a work colleague about this and have my little moan. I tell her my theory on how I think he's moved to an area very, very close to where I live.

That night, my colleague sends me a text saying that she's seen our other colleague (ex's cousin) in my favourite pub and he was with him. It turns out that he has moved to the local area and she was showing him around.

We always wanted to live together. Unfortunately, we never lived closer than a 30 minute drive from each other. Now it's 5 minutes. If that!

The location of his new house plays on my mind. I know you can see a theme here. Well done.

So feeling a bit low last night, I decide that I will go out for dinner with Housemate Guy. It turns out he doesn't have a girlfriend. We do have a nice time, apart from him asking me back to his constantly. No means no. Argh.

Discussion moves on, and I notice that he's friends on Facebook with the girl who I went on a course with. It turns out that they lived in the same house briefly. Oh really? I tell him my ex lives there now. He says his name. He's met him.

I can't even see a fucking guy without my ex popping up. He's a plague! He's with me at work, in my pub, with guys who I see, he sees my colleaugues, and he lives with someone I know and in a location very close to where I live.

Why can't he just be out of my life? Why can't I just move on? I just want to rest/live/drink in peace.

Plan:
Take Spanish evening classes at the local university. Learn Spanish. Move to central/south America.

And a milkshake for the gentleman sil vous plait.

I really fancied some fried chicken this week, particularly after a gruelling day at work. Hmm, who would come with me to TGIs? I'll ask 21 year old.

As I walked to his car I sent a message saying 'giggle' to a work friend who knew I was meeting him. It was all very exciting. A date with a 21 year old who has a car! Hang on, I need to make sure that I realise that I'm not actually a 16 year old. Check!

We were told we'd have to wait 30 minutes for a table, but that wouldn't be that much of an issue as we could go to the bar. After that day at work, I was more than ready for an alcoholic beverage. 21 year old guy, what would you like? I'll get this.

What? Seriously? That's what you want? Erm... OK.

One cocktail and one... Oreo milkshake.

Awkward.

I decided that I'd pay for dinner, after all he's on considerably less money than me. It's only TGIs. No big deal. At this point I do feel a little like a sugar mama. Is a sugar mama defined by what she gets in return? Just wondering because I got a 10 minute snog and a very immature grope in his car. That's on his part. I know how to grope properly! Just wanted to clear that up.

He asked if I wanted to get a hotel room in the near future. It was under consideration, but the more I think about it, do I really want to? Yes it was cute kissing him in his car, and he is indeed super cute! Really nice hair. Something you'd expect to see on a young adult. But it's not quite sexy. Sexy is Ryan Gosling, not Harry Styles. Channing Tatum is also super sexy.

21 year old guy keeps sending me messages asking when he can kiss me again. I keep putting it off. It's obvious that now it's pretty much over.

I'm no sugar mama. I want a sugar daddy! Actually, that's not true either otherwise I'd be fucking my very own Christian Grey for goodies. So, I don't want to look after someone, I don't want to be looked after, I don't want commitment, but I do want someone to cuddle. And not a teddy. A real man who spoons me and kisses my neck. A real man who doesn't send me messages every 5 minutes, but does ask me if I'm OK every once in a while. A real man who asks me if I want to get a drink after a bad day.

So confusing. But I guess that it is safe to say that a guy who orders a milkshake at a bar is definitely not for me.

Cougar?

My sex drive is back. Yay! Let the mash see the sausage!

I'm sitting here, completely horny as fuck. But once again I have no one to do the deed with. Well, that's a lie.

I have a friend who is 21. I've worked with him in the past and had a fab time. A fairly good bloke. He's a little immature, but he's 21. Good for him! Feeling a little bored last weekend, he suggested we meet up and have a 'fun day'. Ooh, that does sound fun.

Meal, mini golf, arcade and cinema. He was right. Fun.

However, he now wants to start a relationship with me. He keeps saying how much he likes me, and that I'm this and that. My issue is his age. He really is a great guy, but he is also 21. I feel like a cougar. There's only 5 and a half years between us, and I know that really it's nothing. But he's 21. I've never dated a younger guy before, especially one who has not long left his teens.

Colleagues think that I should just go for it. I told them my theory on younger men being shit in bed, but they say that I could train him. Maybe they're right. He does seem eager and willing. But (another one) I couldn't imagine going to meet his parents and him introducing me as his 27 year old girlfriend who has a 'grown up' job, when he's barely left college.

In addition to that, he did officially ask me out. Here's the conversation:

Him: Do you live near *insert area close to my house here*?

Me: Yep. Why?

Him: I have a £10 voucher for Ask Italian. Fancy it?

I'm sure you can see my issue here. Bless him, it's all very sweet but can I really date someone who is that young?

He had even told me after our 'fun day' that when he showered in the morning, he used the aftershave shower gel as well as the aftershave so he would smell nice for me. When I told a friend at work this, she howled with laughter. And I agree.

21 year old guy is absolutely lovely. But he's 21. New realisation: I didn't realise that age was that important to me.

Should I let the mash see the chipolata?