Since my last post, I have been on 3 dates with a lovely man. We met via the internet on match.com and we spoke on the phone for a few weeks beforehand. He seems like a very caring, thoughtful and well travelled guy. As he was incredibly interesting as well as having many of the same hobbies, we decided to meet up. Oh, you have your own business? OK.
Alas, my schedule is busy and I cancel on him. Twice. Oops. I decide that no matter what, on the 4th October that we will meet up and I will cancel any work commitments. I don't want him thinking that I'm not interested in him. He asks me where I would like to eat, and I'm quite happy with Nandos or another fairly normal chain with substandard food, but nevertheless, I let him decide.
"I've booked us a table at Purnell's" he says, as if it's the most normal thing in the world. No jeans for me then. Best get a frock out.
We meet in Ginger's bar where there's a bottle of champagne waiting for me. So far so good. As I am given the menu I see that there are 2 options: £60 or £80. That's two weeks worth of food shopping for me. I opt for the £60 menu and he then decides on the wine; a £60 bottle of white. Well, it's no Blossom Hill, but it will have to do! We then continue on to an absolutely stunning meal at Purnell's. I have never in my life eaten such amazing food. I really cannot get over how magnificent the meal was and I'm already planning my next trip back.
We talk about music, friends, family, hobbies, favourite holiday destinations and the usual stuff.
Look at the time! We met at 7 and it's now midnight. I have to leave before my dress turns into my usual rags. As it's so late he offers to drive me home, and on the walk to his car he offers me his jacket. What a sweetheart! Financially comfortable, interesting, well travelled and now someone who gives me his coat when it's pouring down. Of course I took him up on the offer as I didn't want my hair to get ruined. And I really don't want to be the cliche girl, but as we walked over to his car, my heart did backflips.
OMG! HE HAS A MERCEDES BENZ SPORTS CAR! GIGGLE!
He drops me off at my house with a single kiss on my cheek. Perfect.
The following week he sends me a message asking to meet up after work. Bugger, I'm in my work clothes, but thankfully I have my make up at work so I can do it there.
We head to a local bar, and I insist on paying for the drinks that came to crazy £5.50. Wait - he wants orange juice AND lemonade? He must think I'm made of money!
We eat and he buys, and we talk and talk and talk. Then he drops me off home with yet again another kiss on the cheek. I'm finding it difficult at this point to believe that there are still gentlemen out there.
Shortly after dropping me home, he calls me. He's still in his fucking amazing car, but now in traffic. He, who shall now be named Purnell's Guy, asks to see me the following day (yesterday) and I oblige.
So, now we're on date numero 3. He picks me up where I can make sure that a friend from work can see his car, and her jaw drops when she sees it. Giggle again. We decide on a Mexican place to eat and I inform him that I will be paying for the meal. We order, we eat, we talk and continue on with the normal pattern of a regular date.I ask him what he's most proud of, and he tells me about when he bought his mother a house. It makes my box of Malteasers look very grim. Sorry mother. At the end of the meal, he yet again insists on paying. At this point, I really do feel as though I'm being bought.
We pull up outside of my house and he kisses me. Well, about time! I'm all for guys being gentlemen but sometimes you just have to kiss. It's the least you can do! We kiss for a while, and I'm a little disappointed with some stubble which is causing some pain to my lip. And this is to the point where over 12 hours later, my lip is still sore.
It gets a bit heavy and we drive to somewhere a little more secluded and somewhere with no street lights. In all honesty, we do everything but have sex. In his sports car. We talk about sex for a while. I'm quite open about it and it doesn't bother me. It's nothing to be ashamed of.
Now, I like to think that I'm a bit kinky, but I have nothing on this guy. He's a cross between Patrick Bateman and Christian Grey. He likes swingers clubs, hardcore bondage, group sex and doing a line of coke from a girl's stomach before he fucks her.
It is now at this point that I feel uncomfortable. He could have at least said these things to me later down the line rather than on date number 3. It's hardly something like him having a dog and asking if I have allergies. I would like to make it clear that I do not have allergies at this point in my life.
I also feel uncomfortable due to the finances between us. I am on 22k and he is very clearly on a hell of a lot more. I feel like I'm something to be bought, and he has even said that for my birthday he intends on taking me to London, where he now lives, take me to the theatre, buy me a gift as well as Agent Provocateur lingerie, and treat me. This would be after 3 weeks of meeting him. I'd be happy with a card.
He really is such a lovely person and we have so many things in common. However, I'm trying to weigh it up at the moment, and the scales are saying that, just like a pound of sugar, he's bad for me. I don't want to be a commodity. I left my old relationship partly because I want to be independent, and if lavishes me with gifts I might turn back into the old me.
