Wednesday, 15 August 2012
Younger Men
I
went away this week to London to see a comedian. I went with a guy who I know
from a job. I went with a guy who I didn't know particularly well. I went to
London with him where we stayed in a hotel together.
It was all very civilised meeting up and getting the coach down. We discussed work and music and other topics that are just fine and perfectly appropriate for two adults to discuss. Well done me! This was a guy that I wasn't jumping onto like Boris Johnson jumping onto an electric bike!
Spoke too soon.
The hotel was lovely, very contemporary with nice blinds. What can I say? I like decorating. I'm currently in the market for blinds for my new house. Not sure whether to get them or curtains. Decisions!
As soon as the porter left us, this male 'friend' walked over and kissed me. Erm, OK. I wasn't expecting that. I'm sure you can figure out what happened then. Unfortunately, there was little foreplay. Important note to any guys reading this - foreplay is important. Spend time doing it. We're like a queue for a rollercoaster; we like the tease and anticipation of what's to come, ahem, and it prepares us for the ride.
The whole thing lasted 5 minutes. Don't get me wrong. I like a quickie, but that was like a bolt of lightening. Actually, that's being a bit nice. Not so much a bolt of lightening, but more of a spark when you touch a the car door. Disappointed.
This guy, who will now be Young Guy is, well, younger than me. He's the first guy who I've been with who is not my age or older. He's not a child. Just 2 and a half years younger than me. And now I know why I prefer the older male: experience. I imagined that as he was younger that he would be a bit more energetic. Well, get this guy a Red Bull because he needs it.
Maybe, sex at his age his just about sex, or as Ross Gellar calls it 'the physical act of love'. I don't think that he understands passion, which is the heart of my life at the moment. Life should be about passion whether it's a career path, hobby, or sex. It all seemed like washing the dishes, or doing the laundry. I've had enough of chore sex. It happened towards the end of my long term relationship. Sex shouldn't be something that happens with a schedule and with no passion. That's boring and not who I am whatsoever.
We continued the day with sightseeing and it was all very civil again. We got some food, went back to the hotel and got ready, saw the performance, and then made our way back to the hotel. There we sat on the sofa in our room and he started stroking my leg. Not wanting to go down the same less than mediocre route from earlier in the day, I got up and decided to put my pjs on and get ready for bed. So, on went my Mickey Mouse pjs and off came my make up. Not sexy at all now. This should put him off, right? Wrong.
We got into bed, I said goodnight and curled up. Then he curled up behind me. Awkward. Then he started stroking my leg again. And he started kissing my neck. Now, this is the thing that I really love. He's found my weakness. And he was good at it. No slobbering like a dog.
Foreplay part 2 was much better and lasted a good hour or so. But again, there was no passion. No connection with one another. Also, I think he thought that I was a fragile doll and was very gentle with me. It was, what I imagine my wedding night to be like. Screw that! We're in a hotel, we've been drinking. I'd like something rougher please! 50 Shades has nothing on me, and he's more like a Mr Men book - safe and predictable. Guess what Mr Happy is like. Happy.
It was coming up that sex was on the cards. And that's when he said something that changed it. He didn't like to use condoms and it puts him off. That's when I told him that I wouldn't have sex without one. No STDs or babies for me thank you! So, we stopped.
The next morning he woke me up by spooning me. I looked at the time. It's 7am, and the alarm is set for 8.30. In my subtle style I tell him to go back to his side of the bed and leave me to sleep. No one messes with my sleep!
Thirty minutes later, he's back cuddling me. I get up and get ready for day 2 of sightseeing. I'm not interested. The day was a normal day of sightseeing. We went to the Damien Hirst exhibition which was fantastic. Very impressed.
Then on the coach on the way home he decided to stroke my leg again. At this point I really don't know how to react. What does he want from me? I think stroking a leg like that was a bit boyfriend/girlfriend. It was affectionate, not what happens in London, stays in London.
I decide that the best way to get him off my back is to tell him about what's going on in my life at the moment. I'm not after flowers, I'm after a good fuck! Sorry, that sounds so crude. I did question myself to a friend and asked what's wrong with me. The reply was that I'm making up for lost time.
I told him about me seeing guys, and his hand moved away from my leg straight away. Success. He looked at me in a strange way, almost as though if I had said that I loved slavery and black people should still work for the whiteys.
From looking at his expression, I questioned myself again. Looking back on my blogs I have been seeing quie a few people, haven't I? Am I a slag? I remember what my friend has said about making up for lost time, and I feel a little better. I try and convince myself by thinking about the people who I have slept with. My number is well below double figures, and I've never met a guy in a club/bar and had a one night stand. I've always known the guy for a while and then it turns into something. Younger Guy is a bit of an exception as we barely knew each other beforehand, but we still did know to an extent. And with each guy, apart from this one, there has ALWAYS been passion. There's that word again. So, it's not like I'm doing it for the sake of doing it.
We discussed where I was, and what's going on with him. I ended up giving him relationship and sex advice. And just like that our relationship changed. We had, within 48 hours, started off as work colleagues, awkward sex partners, tourists, nearly sex partners again, tourists, and then friends who can openly discuss sex. Like I said to him, sex is just sex. It's natural and shouldn't be taboo. I'm finding that that I don't mind discussing it anymore now that I'm single. It was already quite Sex and the City before in regards to talking with a few of my girlfriends, but now I know that it shouldn't be a subject that is locked away and only comes out with cocktails. How very liberal of me!
It was all very civilised meeting up and getting the coach down. We discussed work and music and other topics that are just fine and perfectly appropriate for two adults to discuss. Well done me! This was a guy that I wasn't jumping onto like Boris Johnson jumping onto an electric bike!
Spoke too soon.
The hotel was lovely, very contemporary with nice blinds. What can I say? I like decorating. I'm currently in the market for blinds for my new house. Not sure whether to get them or curtains. Decisions!
As soon as the porter left us, this male 'friend' walked over and kissed me. Erm, OK. I wasn't expecting that. I'm sure you can figure out what happened then. Unfortunately, there was little foreplay. Important note to any guys reading this - foreplay is important. Spend time doing it. We're like a queue for a rollercoaster; we like the tease and anticipation of what's to come, ahem, and it prepares us for the ride.
The whole thing lasted 5 minutes. Don't get me wrong. I like a quickie, but that was like a bolt of lightening. Actually, that's being a bit nice. Not so much a bolt of lightening, but more of a spark when you touch a the car door. Disappointed.
This guy, who will now be Young Guy is, well, younger than me. He's the first guy who I've been with who is not my age or older. He's not a child. Just 2 and a half years younger than me. And now I know why I prefer the older male: experience. I imagined that as he was younger that he would be a bit more energetic. Well, get this guy a Red Bull because he needs it.
Maybe, sex at his age his just about sex, or as Ross Gellar calls it 'the physical act of love'. I don't think that he understands passion, which is the heart of my life at the moment. Life should be about passion whether it's a career path, hobby, or sex. It all seemed like washing the dishes, or doing the laundry. I've had enough of chore sex. It happened towards the end of my long term relationship. Sex shouldn't be something that happens with a schedule and with no passion. That's boring and not who I am whatsoever.
We continued the day with sightseeing and it was all very civil again. We got some food, went back to the hotel and got ready, saw the performance, and then made our way back to the hotel. There we sat on the sofa in our room and he started stroking my leg. Not wanting to go down the same less than mediocre route from earlier in the day, I got up and decided to put my pjs on and get ready for bed. So, on went my Mickey Mouse pjs and off came my make up. Not sexy at all now. This should put him off, right? Wrong.
We got into bed, I said goodnight and curled up. Then he curled up behind me. Awkward. Then he started stroking my leg again. And he started kissing my neck. Now, this is the thing that I really love. He's found my weakness. And he was good at it. No slobbering like a dog.
Foreplay part 2 was much better and lasted a good hour or so. But again, there was no passion. No connection with one another. Also, I think he thought that I was a fragile doll and was very gentle with me. It was, what I imagine my wedding night to be like. Screw that! We're in a hotel, we've been drinking. I'd like something rougher please! 50 Shades has nothing on me, and he's more like a Mr Men book - safe and predictable. Guess what Mr Happy is like. Happy.
It was coming up that sex was on the cards. And that's when he said something that changed it. He didn't like to use condoms and it puts him off. That's when I told him that I wouldn't have sex without one. No STDs or babies for me thank you! So, we stopped.
The next morning he woke me up by spooning me. I looked at the time. It's 7am, and the alarm is set for 8.30. In my subtle style I tell him to go back to his side of the bed and leave me to sleep. No one messes with my sleep!
Thirty minutes later, he's back cuddling me. I get up and get ready for day 2 of sightseeing. I'm not interested. The day was a normal day of sightseeing. We went to the Damien Hirst exhibition which was fantastic. Very impressed.
Then on the coach on the way home he decided to stroke my leg again. At this point I really don't know how to react. What does he want from me? I think stroking a leg like that was a bit boyfriend/girlfriend. It was affectionate, not what happens in London, stays in London.
I decide that the best way to get him off my back is to tell him about what's going on in my life at the moment. I'm not after flowers, I'm after a good fuck! Sorry, that sounds so crude. I did question myself to a friend and asked what's wrong with me. The reply was that I'm making up for lost time.
I told him about me seeing guys, and his hand moved away from my leg straight away. Success. He looked at me in a strange way, almost as though if I had said that I loved slavery and black people should still work for the whiteys.
From looking at his expression, I questioned myself again. Looking back on my blogs I have been seeing quie a few people, haven't I? Am I a slag? I remember what my friend has said about making up for lost time, and I feel a little better. I try and convince myself by thinking about the people who I have slept with. My number is well below double figures, and I've never met a guy in a club/bar and had a one night stand. I've always known the guy for a while and then it turns into something. Younger Guy is a bit of an exception as we barely knew each other beforehand, but we still did know to an extent. And with each guy, apart from this one, there has ALWAYS been passion. There's that word again. So, it's not like I'm doing it for the sake of doing it.
We discussed where I was, and what's going on with him. I ended up giving him relationship and sex advice. And just like that our relationship changed. We had, within 48 hours, started off as work colleagues, awkward sex partners, tourists, nearly sex partners again, tourists, and then friends who can openly discuss sex. Like I said to him, sex is just sex. It's natural and shouldn't be taboo. I'm finding that that I don't mind discussing it anymore now that I'm single. It was already quite Sex and the City before in regards to talking with a few of my girlfriends, but now I know that it shouldn't be a subject that is locked away and only comes out with cocktails. How very liberal of me!
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