The Lawyer Guy Date!

I’m in an English lesson and the cover work is silent reading. I’ve already given out one detention. Not silent enough. Don’t mess with me!

Sorry that it’s been a while. I’ve been very busy and preoccupied. I wish I could say that this stems from extremely romantic encounters including walks on the beach and other clichés. Unfortunately, I’m just too tired from work.

I’m guessing that you don’t really care about how sleepy I am after a day of yelling at 11-16 year olds, are you? I’ll tell you about Lawyer Guy instead then.

Disastrous.

Actually, that is a little unfair. It wasn’t that bad. It all started last Saturday – cue the harp music and flashback*. I decided to get my Dad’s father’s day gift, so like Columbus I set sail for an adventure. I trekked through the treacherous terrain and fought wilder beasts. Just another day in Birmingham.

After a couple of hours I decided to get the train home. Probably more Dora the explorer rather than Columbus. 2 trains were cancelled. Woe is me. At this point I was late for a very important date! I still had to go home and get changed. Annoyed by this, I moaned with the woman at the train station. An elderly lady who had lived in Canada during the 70s, Sylvia kindly offered to give me a lift home from the train station. Maybe I won’t be late after all.

No, I’m still running late. I text Lawyer Guy and there, at my castle a prince arrived on his gallant steed. Or Lawyer Guy cam in his blue car to pick me up. I would say what kind of car but I have no idea.

The ride to his house was awkward. Although the conversation was decent, because he was driving he was unable to maintain eye contact. Not only that, he had the rugby game on the radio and I think was a little more interested in that.

We arrived at his mother’s castle. A 4 bedroom detached house with a quaint garden and family photographs decorated the walls.

A cup of tea? Oh yes please! 2 sugars. Wait. Why has he only put one sugar in? Is he implying that I’m fat? I know I’m curvy, but still. Female instinct comes into play; I could lose a few lbs, but I like the idea that men like something to hold onto. My taste buds also approve of this.

Right, time to leave his house and get some food. Yes, OK, put something in the garage. Oops, you’ve just bumped your head on the door. Time to walk. Oops, you’ve forgotten your wallet. Time to walk back to the house. What an adventure!

We talked about normal stuff; holidays, how he particularly looks like Joe Thomas, and how it took him two times to pass both his theory and his practical driving tests. Dinner and drinks were mediocre. Nothing particularly special to report there.

Although, sitting there with my white wine, and him with his Guinness, I fell the urge to pounce on him. I didn’t, but he just looked so bloody lovely! Sorry, it’s not my intention to go all 50 Shade of Grey on you.

We leave Solihull to make our way to the second part of this date – seeing Blink 1821 at the NEC.

Going through New Street station, I had to do something that I always find a little strange to do on a first date – admit that I need the toilet. I searched in my bad for 30p. This is now the price of a tinkle. Lawyer Guy gives me 10p towards it, in which I reply “I do not need you to pay for me to urinate’.  I think that this is what Beyonce means when she says independent women.

The train was packed. We had to stand up. Pretty close too. He smells quite nice. I actually think that I quite like this one. Oh no, there it is again. The urge to pounce.

Walking from the train station to the NEC, I boldly said “I really want to kiss you”. I did this for 2 reasons:

1)      It’s true

2)      I’m usually quite confident and initiate that myself. I’ve always been the person to wear the trousers, so to speak. However, I was nervous and wanted the ball to be in his court.

“I want to kiss you too”. Giggle.

“As we can’t just stop and kiss, I’m going to hold your hand”. And once more, the trousers were on.

Once in the NEC, being the man of the relationship (I also ordered the food at the restaurant), I bought the drinks. £20 for 6 bottles of Smirnoff Ice. Tut. I better get drunk!

We’re a little early and decided to sit down. As soon as we do, he leans over and kisses me slowly. It was…erm…nice. Don’t get me wrong, it was a good kiss, but still a bit of an anti climax. I’m a bit like Phoebe in Friends. I just want the perfect kiss. Where’s my Joey?

Blink 182 were fab and brought me back to my school and college dats. Lawyer Guy puts his arm around me and then all of a sudden they start performing First Date. Ah cute.

I won’t go through the track list. Mainly because I’ve forgotten it. I will say that I want to marry Travis Barker after he did his drum solos.

The gig finishes and we head home. From New Street we decide to walk home. I decided that the safest route was the 50 bus route. And from there we walked hand in hand into the sunset (up Digbeth as people were getting kicked out of the Dubliner). We talked about loads of things, again nothing too interesting. However, it was around the time we just hit the Ceol Castle that he started talking about his ex. Seriously?! He was telling me about the situation and how he’s feeling. This is not good date material.

As soon as we hit King’s Heath, I make a run for it and tell him that my feet are hurting and I need to get a taxi. He suggests that we split the taxi fare. Really? I bought a £20 round of drinks, and it’s a first date and you think we should split the taxi fare. I like to think that I’m the Beyonce ‘I can pay to go to the toilet’ kinda gal, but I think I like some of that old romance too, like the guy paying for the taxi. Is that too much to ask?

We pull up outside of my house and I wish him a good night and a very quick kiss. We’ve been texting, but I’m not actually that fussed anymore.

The search continues.